The China Journal – The Cubic Interview

Following the release of their most recent cinematic effort, 'I Lost My Monkey in Mysore,' media darlings Cubic Monkey and Ugly Monkey set their sights on conquering the rising economic powerhouse of the East: China. Having recently returned to Singapore after spending two months in the land of the Red Dragon, we sat down with the intrepid duo to discuss their most recent travels, the fate of their would be follow-up film, ‘Shaolin Monkey,’ as well as their plans for the future.

The World According to B: First things first, congratulations on the success of your most film, ‘I Lost My Monkey in Mysore.’

Cubic Monkey: Thanks!

Ugly Monkey: Success? You call that a success? I’m thinking, what, three people saw that one?

CM: Come on, Ugly, you’re exaggerating. I’m sure more than three people watched it.

UM: Well, regardless, I don’t blame those who didn’t. It was a little over-indulgent for my taste. What was that whole fan thing about anyway?

TWATB: I believe that was an homage to Coppola’s Apocalypse Now.

UM: Whatever. And five minutes of listening to a grown man tap a bowl of water with a spoon as if it was a musical instrument. Guaranteed, whatever we do next is going to be a lot better.

TWATB: I understand you recently had a new film in development.

CM: That’s right. It was going to be called ‘Shaolin Monkey,’ with Ugly and me travelling to the remotest parts of China to train in the ancient arts of the Shaolin monks. But when we learn that we have to give up our material ways, we realize that kind of life just wasn’t meant for us. So in the end, we decide to return to Singapore.

TWATB: So what happened?

UM: I’ll tell you what happened. That hack of a director invested in shoddy equipment, that’s what. There we were, all ready for our first day of principle of photography on the Great Wall of all places, and what happens? The camera breaks. And that’s that. No replacement, no alternatives. Months of pre-production down the drain and what’s worse, we had no choice but to hitch a ride with those bozos for the rest of the summer just so we could get home.

CM: It wasn’t that bad, really. We had a great trip, and we were fully compensated for it all. We didn’t pay a cent for anything while we were there.

UM: Considering that the standard rate for a room was about 10 bucks a night, that’s not really saying much.



TWATB: What was your favourite part of the trip?

CM: I really enjoyed Western Sichuan. It was certainly quite different from anything we’d seen in the rest of China. It was quite remote and the travelling was hard, but it was worth it.

UM: If you’re going to go anywhere in China, make it Yanghuo in Guangxi province. Lots of cheap beer, bars, and babes.



TWATB: Now that you’ve had some time to recover from your trip, are there any plans for the future? Another film perhaps?

CM: You betcha! We’re in pre-production on a new short called “Cubic Monkey Down Under.” We plan to start filming sometime next month.

TWATB: Apart from the obvious clue in the title, are there any hints as to what your fans can expect?

UM: Well, they can expect not to have my name in the title. Again. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, I’m tired of having to play second fiddle to a monkey shaped like a TV set. I want equal billing damn it. Why should he get the spotlight?

CM: It’s simple - I’m more marketable.



Watch for the return of Cubic Monkey (and Ugly Monkey) later this year!