Travel Archives '06: Amsterdam, or, Dames is Dames

While we may consider Brussels to be the armpit of Europe, it is clear that the Netherlands is the exact opposite. Not that I didn't know that already, as I had been to Holland about 12 years ago. This was, however, my first trip to Amsterdam, so I really didn't know what to expect. The city has a reputation for, how should I say it, free-spiritedness, and I was curious as to how Amsterdam's (in)famous tourist draws would impact the overall feel of the city. Clearly a good percentage of tourists visiting Amsterdam go there for two things: the weed and the whoring, which is too bad because they miss out on so much of what the city has to offer. Then again, if those are your priorities, you'd probably care less anyway.

I found that if you didn't already know that the Red Light District existed, you'd never know it existed unless you accidentally stumbled into the area by chance. It's very much contained within a few blocks, and the things that go on behind closed doors and in the cafes do not really encroach upon the streets. The viewing galleries, if we were to call them that, are mostly located in alleys between buildings, with the exception of a few buildings on the main stretch. The whole area is almost freakishly surreal, as it's not what you'd expect an area devoted to rampant prostitution and mood altering drugs to look or be like. The streets are lined with tourists and families, strolling along and gawking at sights as if it were Main Street, USA at Disneyland. In fact, I found that most of the people frequenting the area to be there simply to see for themselves what they've only heard in songs by The Police, rather than being populated by strung out hippies and overweight sex junkies.

In fact, I found Amsterdam to be an extremely safe city, which helped significantly when I would get lost in the streets in the middle of the night. Getting lost in Amsterdam is surprisingly easy, despite the fact that it is a fairly small and compact city. The problem is that every street, canal, and building look the same, making it difficult to distinguish one area from the next. Some days I would have no problem getting around, while others I felt entirely disoriented.´

The best thing I did in Amsterdam was to rent a bike. If you go to Amsterdam, this is THE way to travel, and offers you a chance to see the city from an altogether different perspective. Almost everyone in Amsterdam rides their bikes, whether it's to work, shopping, or going out for the evening. This is due largely to the fact that while not impossible to drive around Amsterdam, it would surely be a real pain in the ass. The streets are narrow and all one way, and because of the canals that snake through the city, trying to get from point A to point B in a car would probably take twice as long as riding a bike. Riding a bike through Amsterdam makes you feel as if you are apart of the city, not just observing it from the outside as is normally the case as a tourist. Besides, since cyclists essentially have the right of way, not to mention their own bike lanes, it's worthwhile renting a bike just so that you can ring the little bell and give pissed off looks at pedestrians who are in your way.

Much of the first full day in Amsterdam was spent riding around, and since I had a bike I could essentially make it from one end of the city to the other in about 15-20 minutes. I went to the Anne Frank House which was an incredibly moving experience and a lot more than I had expected. The curators at this museum have done a fine job and I recommend anyone who visits Amsterdam to check this out. What is remarkable is that the museum does not attempt to over-sensationalize or manipulate your feelings, but rather shows what life was like for the Frank family and the other Jews hiding with them before and during the war in a very straightforward and matter of fact way. Each room in the house resonates with a kind of power that can only be attributed to loss and tragedy. During the course of my stay I also visited the Van Gogh Museum, the Museum of the Dutch Resistance, and went all touristy and took a canal cruise, which was worth it since my body couldn't take much more.

I also met up with my fellow ex-pats from Brussels who wanted to go on a pub crawl Friday night. Katherine, I tried to bring a little hipster to Amsterdam and danced a little non-chalantly. Frankly, I don't think Europe is quite ready for the hipster revolution. The pub crawl turned out to be the biggest sausage fest this side of Munich in October, and I'm not talking about the ones you can eat, so to speak. It seemed every guy in Amsterdam that was desperate to get laid and couldn't afford a hooker was in attendance, and I was getting a little tired of running interference for the girls. On the other hand, I was the only guy on the crawl with female dance partners, so I really shouldn't complain. Things got progressively worse, however, when Danielle started making out with every guy on the floor and wouldn't get the hint that Melissa and I wanted to go home. The night only deteriorated from there, and I won't go into details, but let's just say I went through more trouble than I should have put myself through to try and get the situation resolved. It's quite true that no matter where in the world you are, people are just as stupid. Hopefully those involved have walked away with the understanding that friendship is too valuable a thing to throw away for nothing. All I got out of it was tired feet and a long, aimless walk through the streets of Amsterdam trying to figure out where the hell I was.


Next: Why Germany is not on the fashion circuit.