Travel Archives '06: Brussels & Ypres, or, Everything You Need To Know About Belgium You Can Learn From A Waffle

First of all, I'd like to apologize to anyone out there that may be Belgian, who is of Belgian descent, or who has a close relative who is Belgian. If this is you, you may want to stop reading this installment. Not to say that there aren't any good Belgians out there. There's an entire museum dedicated to good, decent Belgians who have made the world a better place through their art and intellect. I speak specifically about the Centre Belge de la Bande Desinee, which features a host of works from the likes of Herge, best known for his work on Tintin; and Peyo, creator of the beloved Smurfs. This was easily the best art gallery I have ever been to, and probably will ever see. For those that are not familiar with the process involved in what the Belgians refer to as the "Ninth Art," the gallery offers an exhibit that takes you through the process of creating a comic book/strip from writing a script to actually getting the material published. The gallery's focus is primarily on Belgian comic book creators, such as those mentioned earlier, and is likewise organized in such a way to guide you through each spotlighted creator's chef d'oeuvres. The gallery also offers an exhibit on the evolution of the modern European comic strip, and how diverse styles and approaches to the form have continued to push the boundaries of sequential art.

But back to the real subject of this installment, and that is Brussels itself. From the moment I stepped onto the Metro, the city had me baffled. It was something I couldn't really put my finger on, and I spent much of my first day stressing out over the fact that I felt that I must be missing something. As I often do when first getting to a new city, I walk the streets and some of the city's central locations to just familiarize myself with the area so that I can decide what kinds of things I'd like to see or do. What's unique about Brussels in comparison with other European cities, is that there really is nothing to see and really nothing to do. In fact, one of the city's biggest attractions is a 10 foot titanium steel model of an atom. Fun! Sadly, I never had the opportunity to seek out this proud monument to modern science. What also complicated my desire to actually see what Brussels might have to offer was that everything was closed the day I arrived there. In fact, I found that most of the time, everything everywhere in Brussels is closed most of the day. For example, there was a cafe down the street from the hostel I was staying at that did not open the entire time I was there. To give you a further sense of the disparity of the situation, I even went to lengths to photograph a falafel stand that was open one night out of the sheer shock that if I had chosen to do so, I could have done something, even if that something was just eating a falafel.

The Belgians also seem to be a rather uninspiring people. One of the notable parks featured in the city's tour guide was about the size of my backyard, with a series of small fountains and hedges. The homes feature some of the most poorly conceptualized architectural design I have ever seen, the exteriors of the buildings can be described as being in slow decay, and more often than not sports a crude splotch of graffitti. God, even the graffitti is uninspired. Just like their architecture, it would seem, the Belgian people are remarkably ugly. Now, don't get me wrong, they're not altogether unpleasant to look at, but at the same time do not seem to possess any physical qualities that make them in any way desirable. This may have something to do with centuries of cross-breeding between the French, Spanish, Dutch, and Germans, which clearly when thrown together creates a rather slim gene pool. I also found it extremely bizarre that there seemed to be a marked absence of anyone within the city limits that was between the ages of 20-35. There seemed to be a good representation of children under the age of 14, and a large representation of adults in their 40s and 50s, but the particular age demographic in question seemed to altogether absent from Brussels society. My best guess is that every Brusselian in their right mind finds by any means possible a way out of Dodge the moment they're of age.

What could potentially have been a very bad visit to what I can only describe as a third-rate European city was salvaged through excessive drinking and late nights disturbing the quiet neighbourhood surrounding the hostel. In true Canadian fashion I brought together people from around the world, who remarkably all had similar feelings towards the city of Brussels. In the process, I created a core entourage of two girls from Ottawa and one from Mexico City. A rotating cast of sexually frustrated and desparate guys joined our late night drinking sessions, each to leave empty handed, crushed, and rejected. I, on the other hand, was enjoying my position on the other side of the fence, so to speak, as we secretly ridiculed these guys for their obliviousness.

What quite possibly saved the trip to Belgium was a side trip that myself and my two other Canadian cohorts took to Ypres, where some of the bloodiest and costly battles were fought during the First World War. Ypres is where Flanders Fields is located, which has now been turned into a beautiful park and monument to the soldiers of the Commonwealth who gave their lives during the war. On the momument, which is an enormous structure resembling a hybrid between the Arc de Triomphe and the Parthenon, contains inscriptions of all of the soldiers names who died during the fighting near Flanders Fields, but whose bodies were never recovered. There is a certain kind of peace and serenity that the park creates, which makes it impossible to not reflect on the significant sacrifices that these soldiers made during such a horrific war. The town of Ypres was significantly much more pleasant than Brussels, which is probably due to its provincial flavour. Apart from the Flander's Fields park, there are some beautiful Gothic cathedrals, small cafes and a lot of chocolate shops. The town even offers residents a special lane on the highway for motorized wheelchairs. Still, just as in Brussels, business hours are only a suggestion.



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