Singapore Month - Week 1: Customer Service

The overriding principle when it comes to customer service in Singapore is that whatever's wrong, it's the customer's problem. While this makes working in the service or retail industry one hell of an easy ride, being on the receiving end can be more than a little frustrating. In most cases, when confronted with a problem that a consumer has, the typical Singaporean retail or service employee does not know how to respond. It's as if they are entirely incapable of anticipating the fact that something could ever go wrong, and therefore, have no way of dealing with an issue when it does. In some cases, the reason for this trend seems to be the fact that employees are never given the freedom to act autonomously and make decisions without the express consent of a higher authority (this goes beyond the service industry). I also credit this to a sheer lack of critical thinking skills, the very same kind that cause people to stop without notice at the top or bottom of an escalator. The result is a stressful and awkward exchange that usually results in the consumer leaving without having reached any kind of resolution and the service staff trying to figure out what had just happened and then promptly forgetting about it.

I've decided to devote this post to illustrating a few incidents where the "customer's always wrong" philosophy has been played out with mind-bending results.

1) The Comic Book Store

There's a lot I could go on about here, but I'll keep it brief. Basically, the other day I went to pick up a batch of comics from a shop I have a subscription with. I went to pay, but was short on cash. So, I handed the employee my Visa. She looked at the card, then at me, then back at the card. She seemed a little confused.

Employee: "You have NETS?" (NETS is similar to a debit/Interac card back home.)

Me: "No, just Visa."

Employee: "Oh, well, your order must be $50 or more for Visa. You got cash?"

Me: "No, just the Visa. Since when does your purchase need to be $50 or more to use a Visa?"

Employee: "Always. Store policy. You got NETS?"

Me: "No, I just have the Visa."

Employee: "Hmmmm, maybe you buy something else?"

Me: "I don't want to buy anything else, I just want these."

Employee: "Oh....so no NETS?"

Me: "How about you just put the comics back, and I'll come back next week with cash."

Employee: "So you don't want these comics?"

Me: "No, I still want them, I just don't have any cash to pay for them."

Employee: "Oh...but I have already typed in your purchase."

Me: "Can't you just delete it? I'll come back next week and pick the comics up then."

Employee: (No response. Looks around frantically). "So you just have Visa?"

Luckily, by this point the owner of the store had heard enough of the conversation that he stepped in and said it was okay for her to process the order, even if I was under the $50 minimum. In this case, I actually did walk away with what I'd wanted, which was a rarity.

2) Army Ants

I didn't actually experience this myself, but my friend Rob told me about it a few weeks ago. He was having his going away dinner at Sunset Bar and Grill, a place I'd introduced to him a year ago which serves wings so spicy you'll be experiencing uncomfortable and fiery bowel movements for days. As he and his friends sat down at a table, they soon discovered a battalion of ants that were marching in formation just underneath their feet. Some were beginning to crawl up peoples legs and giving them painful bites, so Rob approached a waitress to see if they could all move to one of the empty table further away.

Rob: Is it okay if we move? Some of us are getting bitten by ants.

Waitress: No.

Rob: Um, maybe you don't understand. See, there's tons of ants on the ground. And some of us are getting bitten. We just want to go over there so that we can avoid getting bitten.

Waitress: No.

Rob: I don't understand why we can't move. That table over there is empty.

Waitress: No.

At this point, Rob sat down and discussed the matter with his friends. They decided to all get up and move anyway, which they did. The waiting staff then moved all of the plates, cutlery, beer and mugs to the new table without saying a word.

3) The Budget Terminal

This one involves Martin and his six-year-old son who went to the budget terminal at Changi Airport to pick up a friend. The flight was bound to arrive at 4:45, but due to bad weather, it was delayed until 5:00. When 5:15 rolled around, the plane's arrival had been pushed to 5:30, then to 5:45, and finally to 6:00. At 6:30, with no plane in sight, Martin approached the girl at the information counter to find out what he could about the flight's status.

Martin: Can you tell me the status on the flight from Ho Chi Minh City?

Girl: (Looking intently at her papers) - "Confirmed, 6:00."

Martin: "But it's 6:30 right now. And there's no plane."

Girl: (Once again looking at her papers) - "Flight is confirmed, 6:00."

Martin: "Okay, how about this. Can you tell me what time it is?"

Girl: (Looking at her watch) - "6:30."

Martin: "Alright. So what time is the plane due to arrive."

Girl: "Confirmed, 6:00."

The girl then inexplicably left the counter and no one came back to replace her. Martin tried phoning the main terminal using the airport's help phone, but no one on the other end picked up. As a result he sat at the airport for the next three hours trying to keep his son entertained.

These vignettes are only a glimpse of what goes on here on a daily basis. I used to criticize those expats that would lose it in public and succumb to an unholy rage, but that was three years ago. Now I understand.

And finally, as part of Singapore Month, I'll showcase a few areas of Singapore each week in the gallery section below. Enjoy!

Tanjong Pagar & Chinatown