Now, I'm not talking about the fact that you'll need to take an occasional left or right, or perhaps the path you're walking on curves slightly or leads you up a flight of stairs. No, what I'm talking about is the ability to simply go from Point A to Point B without having to dramatically veer off course in fear that someone will appear without notice and slam right into you.
When Laura and I first moved to Singapore, this was a recurring problem, as we hadn't quite figured out what was going on and what to do to avoid collisions with other peole. With Laura in particular, it seemed as if there was some kind of magnetic pull that drew people directly to her. Quite literally, we'd be walking on one side of a city sidewalk or inside some large shopping mall, and people would veer directly into her. Later, we observed that people would suddenly change the course of their direction without notice, often causing us to come to an abrupt stop, sometimes bumping into the person who had cut us off, or causing someone else to bump into us. Simply put, Singaporeans did not seem at all aware of anyone around them, and would proceed in any which way as if they were the only ones there.
After a few months in Singapore, I met with an expat who explained this phenomenon to me in a way that made it possible to at least comprehend what was going on. "The difference between the way we walk and the way that Singaporeans walk," he said, "is that while we follow the grid, they follow the stream." Simply put, while we are used to walking in a more or less straight line in the direction we desire, and similarly others are expected to do the same, in Singapore, people follow the current, wherever it may take them. In order to make it to your destination, you must fight the pull of the stream and be aware at all times of the many obstacles that might head your way, mainly in the form of human detritus that comes careening in your direction.
There are a few other apt comparisons to walking in public in Singapore: walking through a minefield; playing Frogger; flying in a spaceship through an asteroid belt. What all of these have in common is the simple fact that in order to survive, you must develop lightning-fast reflexes, strategy, foresight and the occasional display of Olympic-level gymnastics.
Walking through crowded shopping malls, train stations or city sidewalks is not for the faint of heart. It is essential that you develop some physical and mental strategies in order to limit the number of bruises, potential spills and of course the blood-curdling rage that is a result of some brainless twit walking right into you. These are a few that I've developed over the past three years:
1) The full body twist. This involves a half-turn of the body from facing front to sideways. A quick shuffle will be required to squeeze through the narrow passage between the person(s) in front of you and a wall/oncoming traffic/oncoming pedestrians, etc.
2) The pivot. When someone stops abruptly in front of you, it is essential to make your move fast or you may find yourself falling on top of said person (you will, of course, be blamed). A quick pivot and side-step are key, and is often used in combination with a slight twist of the back.
3) The shoulder check. This one usually comes out only when the last of my patience has been drained. It is also generally used when there is no other recourse (i.e. there's a wall on one side of me and nowhere else for me to go). As I see an individual beginning to veer in my direction, I lock my shoulder and brace for impact. The results are usually quite satisfying.
4) The zig-zag. Let's face it, you're not going to swim upstream in a straight line, and if you tried, you'd only be slowing yourself down. At top speed, I'll cut through the crowds by looking for those small gaps that risk being closed at a moment's notice. Once through, I'll continue looking for the next opening, which often requires me to follow a zig-zag pattern along the direction I wish to take.
The trick, my friends, is to be aware. Keep your head up, elbows out, and always be on the ready.
Photo Gallery: Marine Parade, Joo Chiat and Geylang
If the writers of Sesame Street re-wrote the lyrics to "People in Your Neighbourhood" to describe the Joo Chiat area, instead of a grocer, mechanic, and a whole lot of Muppets, there'd be prostitutes, drunks, exploited migrant workers and the odd convict I'm sure. It's also the neighbourhood where Laura and I have called home for the past year. One taxi driver this week referred to it as a "very colourful area," and I don't think that there's a better way to put it.
Marine Parade
Joo Chiat
Geylang
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